You don’t have to be two halves of The Relationship an apple to be together. You can talk to each other in a language that neither of you is native to, and still get along. You can work through someone’s fear of exposing your soft underbelly. You can discuss your priorities and find a win-win solution. Ba! Apparently, there are even couples who, after being cheated, can rebuild a relationship, but I buy YourLatinMates.com the latter on average. I know of one case when a relationship doesn’t make sense. Only one. It’s a relationship where someone takes your happiness.
For us to get it right
I’m not talking about a situation where someone is not giving you happiness. Giving yourself happiness is one of those activities that is part of your responsibilities (next to breathing and caring for your future). So when I hear someone suggest that someone is supposed to make them happy, I always imagine that instead of the other person they want to have a cross between a monkey, a French bulldog and a slave. In short, someone who puts all your needs on a pedestal and forgets about your own. Apparently, you can also do that, but it’s hard to call such behavior anything other than demanding.
So when I write about a situation where someone takes your happiness, I don’t mean that you will be with someone who, next to a relationship, will also have a life of your own. I’m talking about a situation where the person you’re with is an emotional fucker. Or an emotional fucker, because she’s a lot of them too.
Who are the emotional fuckers?
From the very definition of “being”, people should like each other , wish you well, and laugh at similar things. When people like each other, they look at each other with affection while planning the conquest of the world, they buy themselves sweaters for the holidays to take funny photos and they cheer for each other. So when you achieve something, you tell them in the first place, because you YourLatinMates know that they will jump on you with joy and open a bottle of wine. And when you feel unwell, they will tell you, “Go do something nice for yourself.”
Emotional fuckers are people who don’t get it. They are with you, but damn knows why. They are not happy with who you are, nor are they interested in what you do to be a happy person. They live so that their partner doesn’t feel too well. Too attractive. Too handsome. Too confident. Too goofy.
The emotional fucker gets content when you feel bad. So not only will it not help you, but it will also gladly throw you at your feet. Success? “It’s nice, but what do you need this for?” Do you have a passion (something that is not related to work and paying bills)? “Are you ten years old to play ?!” Do you want to start something new? “You’re not fit for this!” Are you buying something that has been your dream for a long time and for which you have earned money yourself? “You only think about yourself.”
You can try and fight and burn with a bright flame like a candle, and the first thing the fuckers do is cover the fire with a jar. It is no coincidence that in such relationships people are said to go extinct.
The reasons don’t matter. Effects count
The reasons for this behavior vary. Maybe they do it because they don’t feel confident themselves? Maybe because they envy you and are afraid that you will achieve so much that you will leave them behind? Maybe they don’t know what healthy relationships look like?
Maybe. It does not change the fact that all these reasons have one thing in common – they do not matter. When a relationship doesn’t make sense, what matters on average is the cause of it. And there is no point in drawing air into your lungs to deny it. There is no point in making excuses to someone for kicking you, but that’s because they don’t know how to show love .
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What matters is that you are a less happy person in your relationship than without it.
And you see, this is not some great expectation. It’s not like you want someone to color your world, put a million dollars in a suitcase, and kiss you on the forehead. It is just: “Stay next to me and do not tread on my happiness, which I am struggling to arrange.”
If you meet people who do not respect your efforts and make you want to live, you have a duty to run away from them as far as possible and as quickly as possible.
Do you know why? Because there will always be people who will spit bile at you. Only this person should never be someone you sleep with in the same bed.